Chopin beats & droppin Brahms.

umi says, “shine your light on the world”
March 31, 2009, 10:13 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i wish i could tell you that everything is fine. i thought it was. but in the last 3 days, my face has been blanched with many shed tears, and my heart has gained weight with sadness.

to be put in more simpler terms..

my grandmother is sick

and her prognosis is poor.

if there’s one thing that can really cripple me, more than anything in the world, more than financial issues, more than guy problems, more than school, more than the accident i got into last sunday..

it is the death of a loved one, or anticipating the death of a loved one.

the idea that someone will leave this earth, to be completely separated from you in mind, body, and spirit, is nothing short of devastating.


i understand and believe the idea of eternal life and i do believe that we will be reunited with our loved ones in due time HOWEVER


the time of departure is always heartbreaking.
it is the concept of being completely separated for a period of time,
and not knowing when you will be able to see them again.

When Lazarus died,
even Jesus wept.

I was supposed to have left with my dad tonight, but my passport situation proved to be an epic fail. I spent two hours today trying to find loopholes on how to leave as soon as possible without a passport, with travel documents, with a temporary passport, or to resort to rush passport renewal

all while trying to register for my classes.

it all proved to be a futile attempt. i sent off my dad just over an hour ago, where he left unattended, and is meeting with the rest of the family who left earlier this week.


i feel that it’s my fault for not renewing my passport earlier, it never occurred to me that i might have to rush out of the country for an emergency.

sometimes i feel like this is me paying for my mistake.

i’ve been trying to remain strong for my family, as well as myself– and have been trying to keep my regular routine from pausing.


but lately i’ve been so exhausted, emotionally and physically drained that it’s been hard to catch up with it all.

thank you to my close friends and for my family who have been very supportive and who have also been keeping positive during this difficult time.


and to my lola, hang in there. we miss you, we love you, and we are praying for you.



3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

❤ you tash.

Comment by bullsalv

😦 My prayers are with you and your family. I hope to see you soon. Expect a big bear hug !!

Comment by zooohey

tash. you weren’t suppose to go. there’s something you’re suppose to do here. whether it’s hold it down for the fams here at home or something else. just trust! love you girlie. my prayers!

Comment by trina

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