Chopin beats & droppin Brahms.

April 21, 2010, 10:50 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

There’s a reason why I get along so well with music lovers and musicians. Music does not only have the capacity to set moods, tell stories, and express affection. Music has the ability to touch souls, change minds, and create (and destroy) relationships.

In 2005 I watched Dave Chapelle’s Block Party. Not only was this entire film filled with some of my favorite artists, but I was surprised to see how ridiculously hilarious my favorite artists were. Then an hour into the film Erykah Badu drops some knowledge and said this,

(paraphrased) “Music, comedy, and love all have one thing in common.
They rely on perfect timing. Without the perfect timing, you have nothing.”

Since these words have hit my ear, brain spatter has been all over the place due to my mind exploding.

A friend once told me that there’s no such thing as bad music. Every music has its time and place.
What sounds bad to us NOW, may actually be the perfect song for a scene in a movie, or a tv show, or a dramatic moment.

It all depends on the time it was released.


The same rule applies to comedy. Punch lines are called PUNCH lines for a reason. You have to wait for the pivotal moment where the audience’s attention is the palm of your hand..

so that you can shatter their silence with  roars of laughter.

And then there’s love.
But I’m saving that for later.

If you were to look at pop culture in five to ten year periods,

it would be very apparent to find patterns what people’s tastes were in music,
and what they thought was funny.

Conversely, if you were to examine pop culture in different regions and countries in the world, you’d see the same thing.

However, you’d also find timeless pieces of pop culture, whose revolutionary breakthroughs have reinvented us and inspired us.

so if you know me well, (or even not well at all), you might describe me as being a lover of music, and a master of jokes (haha just kidding).

Most, I would say (99%) of my friends have either the same taste in music as I do and/or the same humor as I do. We can jam and laugh at a lot of the same things.

A reoccurring topic of conversation however, has recently been plugging in and out. Maybe because adult life is steadily approaching, but regardless, it has been a “trending topic.”

And it’s the topic of marriage.

I attend a primarily all women’s college, and one time a question was posed in class,

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

And to my surprise, many of my classmates said GETTING MARRIED.
It isn’t uncommon to talk to people and find that one of their life goals is to get married and have children.

It also isn’t uncommon to find that they want do this by a certain age.

As a youngin’ I thought this was normal, but now that I’ve grown I have seen that this is actually pretty unrealistic.

(I mean no disrespect).

Now typically, we idealize a marriage as a relationship where you meet someone you love, and then marry them, and then have kids.

This thought has changed into you meet someone, you “love” them, you “live together”, you get married/have kids, get divorced, meet someone else, fall in love, “live together”.. lather, rinse, repeat..

Divorce has been such a permanent part of our culture that our generation has become callous, and careless with our meaningful relationships.

It is almost as if we view them as “disposable.”

Because there’s always other fish in the sea.

So why set yourself up? Something so life-altering such as marriage shouldn’t be taken so lightly. This is for lack of a better word—SERIOUS. You are changing from taking care of yourself, to completely sharing that with someone else.


I can barely handle my own checking account right now. The idea of sharing everything with someone is downright mind-boggling, which is why I respect those married folks who have been in it to win it.

Y’all are an inspiration to all of us.

But back on track, I honestly do not believe that you can legitimately make something like “getting married” a goal before you die. It isn’t fair for you, or for that other person.. because then why are you getting married?

Because you honestly, truly, and whole-heartedly love that person?
even when they gain weight?
Even when they don’t listen to you most of the time?
Even when you find out they’ve cashed your 401K because they wanted to go on a cruise to Europe?
Even if they’ve completely pissed off your entire family and you have to deal with it?

Or are you getting married just to check off another thing on your list?

American culture has tainted our heads with their idea of a perfect American life. Grow up, go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, set up a 401K, retire, go on vacations.

It obviously doesn’t always work out that way. And we’re losing sight of what these relationships really mean.

I mean no disrespect for anyone who wants to get married sometime in their life, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But there definitely is something wrong with actively searching “for that special someone” and molding your life to match up with someone else.

Instead of trying to figure out how to make your life look successful  according to society’s standards, figure out what it means to be happy according to YOUR standards.

I can’t promise you’ll meet the one love of your life, but you will find love. You’ll reaffirm it through the support of friends, of family, and of things that you enjoy, and define YOU.

You’ll discover great satisfaction with yourself, and in turn, inspire others.

So don’t make deadlines on things that should be occurring naturally.

the perfect song, the perfect joke, and the perfect love
the perfect time.

for my friends

for part 2


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Comment by Diana

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