Chopin beats & droppin Brahms.

June 8, 2010, 10:46 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

For the record, this post is not to reveal the secrets of girl world, nor to decode girl code. This post is to help many of you men out there who are having trouble with this.. “scene.” And conversely, help the ladies out from weeding good dudes from creepers and avoiding that awkward silence.

Let’s take a scenario.. for security purposes we shall call this place TDF. Imagine a bar, filled with college folk ranging from ages 21-27 (or what is said on their ID’s). Drinks are cheap, the music is good, the space is cramped and is filled to the brim with


Women are sparsely scattered amongst the crowd, usually glued with other women. A seemingly inseparable gaggle of females approach the dance floor, but as soon as one is approached by a male.. they scatter.


So let’s say you and your dudes are trying to have a good time. You SUIT UP, go to a bar and scope out the spot for some prospects to dance with.

Nothing wrong with that right?

Here’s the problem.

Unless you are outrageously ballin’, ordered a table, have enough cash to make it rain, can sweet talk a mother into giving up her own first born, or look like Cristiano Ronaldo.. you probably wont be getting any females coming your way.

You’ve seen it happen.. decent looking dudes getting rejected by females just because they asked a girl to dance.

So let me break it down for you.

Problem #1. You brought a bunch of dudes.

A woman may feel intimidated when she’s surrounded by men. Because to her, the reason why you wanna dance with her is to show off to your friends.

Solution: Bring girls into your mix. I know you have girlfriends, invite them! If you want to dance with other girls, you need some estrogen to bring down that testosterone. If a girl sees that you’re cool with other girls, she’ll feel less threatened. So if you want to dance with a girl on the dance floor, dance with one of your girlfriends first.

Better yet, try this..

Bring a bunch of your friends to the dance floor (Guys AND girls) and situate yourselves next to the girl you want to dance with. Then ask her if she wants to dance. You have a better chance of getting a YES when she sees that you aren’t a creeper that’s just trying to get all up on her. (Even if that’s what you secretly want to do)

Problem #2. You tried sneaking up behind a girl to dance with her.

UHH HELLO. This is the ultimate creeper attack. Unless you have made eye contact with the girl first, and she gave you the “GO” signal.. this is seriously the easiest way to get on our shit list. Not only have you invaded our personal space, but you’ve assumed that we’ve wanted to dance with you.

Initiate eye contact first. Then start a conversation, and ask if she would like to dance with you. IN FACT, request that she dance with you. If you say, “Do you want to dance?” She has the option hesitating and saying “No, it’s Okay.” But if you gently take her hand and say, “Come on let’s dance,” you sound more inviting. Again, it would be ideal if you had a woman friend nearby.

Problem #3. You started off the conversation with “Daaaaamnnn”

A woman may understand that she looks good (for the most part). But if you approach her in an objectifying way, you are almost bound to get rejected. Here’s the scoop on women.

When a dude knows he’s being checked out by a girl, she doesn’t even have to be cute.. he will feel good. It’s an ego boost. He knows his gear is on point and the more girls that he finds checking him out, the better he will feel.

As illustrated by this graph:

However, it is not always the truth with women. Usually when a woman finds that she is being checked out by a dude/dudes she may feel flattered, and a little bit uncomfortable.

So she will adjust herself.
a. pull up her dress
b. pull down her skirt
c. fix her hair
d. go to the bathroom to find a mirror (lol)

Even though we as women like to know we are turning heads because we look good.. when we find a man checking us out, we have no idea what you EXACTLY you are checking out. Were you looking at my butt? my boobs? my legs? That feeling makes us a little uneasy, and it can be an ego boost, but uncomfortable nonetheless.

And I hate to say it, but the more unattractive we find the guy, or the more derogatory his approach, the less appeal he has, the more discomfort we feel.

The approach is key. Be aware of what your eyes are doing. And if eye contact is initiated, FOLLOW UP!
Try and talk to her.

But if there is one thing that every guy should ever learn it is this.


Even if you are nervous, or not confident at all, it would be in your best interest to learn how to fake it.
Women feel uneasy when they know a man is uneasy, especially when a woman is confident with herself.

If you learn how to approach a woman with confidence, converse with her comfortably, and can guide a conversation without overpowering it?

Your chances of seeing her again dramatically INCREASE.

But if you bug out, stutter, or front..
well.. there are always other girls. LOL

Be cool, be comfortable. And if you aren’t, learn how to pretend.

And take more of that advice from your homegirls. You’d be surprised how much there is to know about us. 😉

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